Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Closure

Its 5 to 3am. Was woken up by Amoi growling. No idea whats up. Maybe she doesn't recognize the sounds Greg is making at the office. Gaming or something. Sat up..had a smoke.. and suddenly I am thinking too much.

Closure.

Something I always never get most of the time. With friends especially. I have gone through friendships falling apart that I've cherished so much. And all I wanted to know was Why? Most of the time I am certain I did not cause the trouble. Not these recent years. The last one I did, I've managed to grow a backbone, drop my pride and ego and apologized. And it was to a bunch of people. Because not only did I leave someone, I left a bunch of them. My mindset was, I wanted nothing to do with that person and whoever is linked to that person. Because all I see is updates and what not of them, and it made me unhappy. If that were to happen to the "me" now, I would actually smile and think.. "I am glad someone else makes you happy". I am thankful to them for accepting my mistakes and flaws and given me a chance to prove myself. Thank you.

But with friendships... sometimes.. I wonder is it me who is oblivious? I am someone who thinks ALOT. I read between lines alot, I watch their movements alot, and the worst part, I make assumptions from that. But how can you blame me most of the time? I am left in the dark with my mind with no answers when I literally begged for one.

So if begging for an answer wasn't the solution, seeing how low I have to go just to get my closure, what is the solution? I tried waiting. Atleast maybe if this person is feeling anger towards me, waiting will help cool the person down, and then approach, or else I'd get burned. Nope. Wrong again. I say I'm sorry, but its fun for them to watch me on my knees begging. But have I approached wrongly? Have I used the wrong words? Have I not read the person's mind?? It drove me nuts!! And all I can think of is "What did I do???" Yes, whoever has angst against me, reading this will go "Stupid girl, how can you not see?". How can I?? I am million of miles away, continents apart, living a life here where I need to fend for myself. How the fuck should I know what you are unhappy about if you DONT TELL ME? Will what you say hurt me? Will it make me think less of you? I don't care. I just want to know why so we can, I can, fucking move on.

Why is it so important to me? Why is it so important to people wanting closure? So we can move on. So we can finally let go, since they have let go. Is it fun to watch me clinging on? Grinning there with your hands in the air, strings attached to the ends of your fingers, connecting to my whole body, playing me like a puppet. If that is the case...does that mean YOU don't have closure? wtf is closure???

Seriously. I lost a friend years ago. I never knew why the person was so mad at me. I tried my best. I went to see the person, I brought gifts, I considered their busy schedule, I offered help, I organize events to bring everyone together.. but yet.. I get slapped in the face. What for? Til this fucking very day I don't know why. Just tell me why and I'll leave forever. I can't come crawling saying I'm sorry if I can't see what I did wrong on my end. Is the person even expecting a 'sorry'??

And then there is another one. We led our lives as normal. We communicate when we can. The most out of a whole circle of friends. I made this person the first amongst them all. All of a sudden, I am left alone.

Enough is enough.

Instead of closure, mate, I've come to terms now. With myself. I know I did what I could. I will have to say this once and for all because I have realised our mindset has changed.. My heart, mind and soul has surpass yours to the point we no longer think and feel the same. My experiences has shaped me to someone whom you can't relate. My struggles are different to yours. And because I know we are too different.. I no longer need that closure I longed from you. With that, I am ready to say goodbye.

Goodbye mate. It was a good run. If I see you, or you see me, I'd smile. If I don't receive one back, a single fuck won't be given. Because right now, deep down.. the one who needs closure, is you. So here's my closure to you.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Gel nails, a must have!

It was only a few months ago when I discovered gel nails, but I never got round to getting one done. I've always been curious to whats it like, but same time too stingy to spend on it. I kept allocating my spending funds on jewelery or clothing, or facial and what not. I saw my colleague, Ashley with her gel nails and it looked stunning. But still I didn't get it done because I didn't get the chance to for some reason.

All the while I had to paint my own nails, every 2-3 days, as it wears off so quickly when I do housework. It got to the point its frustrating because sometimes I'm just too..can't be bothered to remove the old polish and on with the new. And then I can't move at all. I am a very fidgety person, so my nails get ruined after I paint it. Argh!

 And then my friend Ling and I had a girls day out. Oh, how much I love girls day out. It was all about relaxing! She brought me to get my nails done (as well as massage, and then movie at Booragoon, Life of Pi, which is VERY good, I HIGHLY recommend it especially in 3D!) It wasn't exactly gel nails. At first I didn't know because I had no knowledge and I just wanted to go with the flow of the day, but when I jumped online (google my saviour) and researched, its supposed to be a jelly form like stuff in a tub/container. The powder and liquid one is acrylic. But its ok! I liked it anyway, just too bad it looked like a rushed job. (Thank you Ling! ^^)

So anyway, Ashley recommended I go to the one she goes to, which to my pleasant surprise, is near home! :D I can drive there, on my own, anytime bwhahahaah. I don't have to worry about Skip dropping me off or waiting for me or what not. You need to book beforehand as well.

The difference between these two nail salons is that the one I initially went does designs, but has high costs and only specializes in nails. The second one I went to is affordable and reasonable, but only do elegant painting and they also offer other services such as waxing and etc. A beauty salon basically. I've outgrown all the fancy looking nails, so I'm sticking to the elegant. Plus its best I don't have too fancy nails on because it might distract customers when they are viewing jewelery pieces at work.

By the way, Jacqui, the awesome lady who did my nails, has gel nails on til today for 15 YEARS!!!! Fascinating. It makes sense. Every time your nail grows, you put fillers. And then file off the length. Your nails are always having fresh gel nails on so its safe to constantly have gel nails on. So awesome.

 After filing, gel nails on, and on its way into the UV lamp.
I won't lie, as it dries up, it hurts a lil. I think its because its drying hard and fast on the natural nails, but its only for atleast 4-5 seconds, then its over.
 Left bottle, oil essence for the cuticle. Its REALLY good. My cuticles haven't peeled since I got one for myself. Tiny bottle for $5. $12 for the bigger bottle. I can't remember what ml it is. Sorry :(
Colour selecting time. Bloody hell I wish I have more than 10 fingers lolol.
Colour on. Back into the UV lamp.
All done. I stare at it everydayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
I highly recommend this place. Its at Shop 16, Shelley hub shopping cnetre, Tribute Street Shelley, Perth, Western Australia, 6148. Why? Because they are friendly, they're very personal with their customers, professional at what they do, and pretty damn affordable too. Call to make an appointment!

I am not paid or what not to write this entry. I am just spreading the joy!! :D

Friday, January 25, 2013

Cant buy it? Make it!

After working at Swarovski, I have fallen in love with collecting figurines. Weird, because I'm normally not the kind to collect something I can rarely touch or use. But these, they're just too irresistible, for some odd reason :s. So, I managed to buy a few whenever I can afford, instead of jewellery. No regrets :D
But then I had a problem with where can I place them? So for weeks, the figurines I got myself stayed in their boxes/container. I hunted for glass cabinets, but I didn't like any of them, and being a tight arse, I did not want to spend more than $200 on it lol! Impossible bargain to look for, trust me I know. That is why, I just MAKE one!
So...I needed glass, even hard plastic is fine. I scouted around my house and found photo frames. These photo frames contained pictures of..well..useless photos. Like..flowers. lol. It belonged to the previous owner who gave it to us when we moved in. So there, I found glass. So I jumped online and found out how to cut glass and etc. All I needed is glue, and glass cutter and sandpaper. Eventhough I had the guide of photos and what not to help me with my project, I am too much of a wuss to do it myself. I waited for Skip to wake up and help me. By help I meant, do most of it for me HAHA. Nah, kidding. It became our project. He did most of the labour job. I watched most of the time anxiously. It is scary to watch.
First you gotta make a scratch to where you want your glass to break off. And then you tap it to allow the scratch to create a deep crack. Did it right the first few faces we need, then crack the rest accidentally lol.
Picture above is where we duct tape them to keep them in place. We then glue them together and waited 24 hours before you can touch it again. And here it is!
And now.. the final look of it..
Nice??? Im pretty satisfied by it. I won't deny theres alot of mistakes with the gluing process. As you can see, there is a thick glue bit I couldn't clean off properly. Boohoo. But still satisfied anyway. This will suffice for now, til my collection grows. I am eyeing a new collection thats recently launched. 3 lil chicks. All three have different actions. Why chicks? Because they remind me of home, Brunei. How? My mom. She raises chickens, and then yeah they end up in the kitchen but anyhow, it has emotionally got me there. Damn you Swarovski hahaha.
On a side note, Skip has built me a mini monster (mini because its a lousier but still good enough tower compared to his). And yea, it will be my mind pc from now on. Laptop will be for convenience sake if I decide to bring it elsewhere with me. As of now, we are all gathered in the pink room aka Skips nest. Pink because thats how it is when we moved in and cbf painting another colour. Its rented anyway so we don't really wanna do any major changes, atleast until we buy a house as planned.
Nice? I feel so geeky lol.
And lastly, that hair dye I mentioned earlier, FINALLY arrived. After how long? 3 weeks??? And judging from my tracking application on my phone, the fella posted the item on the 18th. Thats RECENTLY and I bought that like.. 3 weeks ago. ARGH. Waited so long. Well, fear not. I just ordered another colour (I have a erm... colour I wana experiment. Lets see how it goes :D) And how long I have to wait, then you guys can know how long it will take. I bet its less than a week, or even a week tops. Can't wait!!! But anyway, heres the colour I ordered. I've coloured my hair today as well before work. The results isn't so obvious, as it made my hair less yellow from the bleach before, and more even with a nice reddish brown colour. Love it! :D
Its different because its not like every other hair dye out there. When you mix the dye and the liquid together, and start stirring, it foams up. Like shampoo foam. Then you apply like normal, even without a comb. It smells so fruity, but with a hint of ammonia, but still good enough :D Seriously, try it. Click here to visit Blush Me Up I highly recommend it! :D
Oh, I received samples as well, gonna try them out and see how it goes :D But first I need to research the items since they're mostly in Korean and Japanese lolz!
Til then, have a good weekend guys. :D
P.S: Drop me a message at the side in my Cbox. Honestly, its nice to know I have some talkative readers xD Please? :D

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Blush me up!

I was just thinking to myself recently. WHY are there NO Japanese cosmetics in Perth??? I have not seen ONE place that sells them especially at our local drugstores. When I need something I have to jump online, either e-bay or a reliable site that sells the products I want, but having to wait FOREVER for it to arrive to my doorstep.

I asked my colleague, Miki, who is a Japanese (I know I shouldn't think all Japs use Japs stuff but you know what? Jackpot XD) and she said there is none here. She too jumps online. Don't worry, I never went, "Hey, you're Jap! Where can I buy jap stuff??" lolol. It started from our conversation bout dying hair and she told me bout those japanese hair dye, when you use it, it bubbles and etc. It sounded pretty good. So I asked her where can I get it, and yeap, she said e-bay. zzz. So anyway, desperate me jump on e-bay and looked for it.

What I should have done was google to see if there is ANYONE who sells these products in Australia. Regret much. I have to wait bout 3 weeks before it arrives at my door step. I am at the very edge of going to a hair salon to get my hair fixed (as always) lol. I can't stand my black roots, and I'd really love to cover up the bleached part of my hair. It looks like dried parsley roots T_T (I grew parsley once and sort of let it die cause I forgot about it for a few days heh).

Anyway, just 2 days ago, after waiting for a week, I decided to google and see if there is anyone selling these products in Australia. And there is! All the way in New South Wales, but its okay, because anyhow, I won't be waiting 3 damn weeks! Ofcourse it will be faster if they deliver to their own side, but for us Perth people, it'll be a week tops. I don't know bout you, but it definitely beats 3 weeks of waiting (could be more depending where you ordered from). They don't only offer Japanese products, but Korea and Taiwan too, and ofcourse, stock in hand, since everything goes fast.

Not only that, I haven't even bought anything and I'm already thinking of other people. I want you guys to know you don't have to go e-bay or other official sites to get them and then wait 18675635654 years. They also offer programs you can join to be affiliates with them, which ofcourse I've signed up for hehehehe.

So yeah, here it is. Click here to visit Blush Me Up Go get your dolly wink eyelashes, or bubble hair dyes or even awesome masks! I know I'm getting mine from there :D :D :D Can't frigging wait!!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

The last remaining one

Trying to get a design for this blog, isn't easy. I've actually never bothered to learn html and designing of websites. Now that I am more serious compared to year before, I regret not being serious lol! Oh well! Its alright, I got time, I'm gonna spend time learning html and what not, so look forward to a new layout soon! :D

Spent the evening cleaning up the van. This van, carried so many memories. It was a working van for Skip's paintball business which is now under nil activity. Reason being is the lease for the land increased which is abit too expensive and not really worth it. Couldn't find another land on time, hence a different direction has to be taken. There are several other reasons why we didn't continue with the paintball business, which I rather not mention just yet.

The van is a really tough one. Because of it, everything was convenient. Seeing how the paintball site isn't enclosed properly, all the gears and paintballs and what not could not be kept at the site, hence everything goes in to the van. Almost like a mobile paintball except we had land.

Even though I worked for his business half a year after it started running, we already had so much memories! The most I remember was our camping trip to Lancelin. We used the van as our means of transport. It never failed us! :D The boys made hammocks inside it (I didn't get to make one cause I was sitting in front with Skip, and his dad was the driver). It provided shelter for us when we needed to cook. Skip's dad brought a lil stove and we cooked sausages and what not. It was good fun ^^ I can't find any pictures of our trip, its prolly in one of the old hard drives in Skip's old pc. Sad. So, after a whole year of closing it down, paper works and what not, the van is the last one. We are selling it. Even though the van is gonna go, the memories stays with us. Gonna miss it. Sad, we have to let it go but atleast it will be with someone else who will make better use of it.


Any takers? :D

Busy Busy

Finally, work demands isn't so full on anymore. For now. During Christmas time, I worked everyday. I can't recall if I had days off. I think I did, but it was probably a day or two. Can't remember. Anyhow, it was fun! Really love my colleagues, I daresay we get along well.

It has quiet down as well. I get opportunities to know my colleagues more when there are no customers and when we finished what we had to do, and then listen to their work experience stories and etc. There is very little gossip, which is good. My colleagues are all very talented people. They have skills and knowledge in regards to retail, as well as personal skills. Very lovely people. So glad to be part of the team.

Other than work, as usual I'd be tidying up the house. I'd usually come home to lots of surprises. For example..kitchen is not tidy compared to the night before when I tidied/cleaned before I hit the sack. The puppies, bringing in lots of sand when they play outside. Shingle back, our bobtail/blue tongue lizard pees, poos or even sheds its skins all over the floor (yes, our pet lizard roams around the house freely as it pleases). Puppies destroyed their stuffed toys, leaving guts (cottons lol) everywhere, and etc. No complains though, I like a busy schedule cause at the end of the day, I like to chillax. My mind is constantly thinking of work, and how I can make more money as well, especially not physically being at work hahahaah. That's a CEO's dream job there XD but anyhow, I will come up with something!

Skip will be having a major project starting soon. We're both very excited for it, but as of now we won't be mentioning what it is. Secret keke.

Also, I will be returning to Brunei for about a week (including travel time), so technically I got 5 days of holiday lol. But its okay! Its enough, I'll be able to meet up with my beloved friends, whoever still remembers me and our friendship. What I am looking forward to is my mum will be returning to Perth with us! I think she will be staying with us for probably bout... 2 months? Unless she's bored. But it'll be different this time. Compared to her last visit, she will have her own bedroom, plus more freedom to take control of whatever she wants to control. Currently its just me, Skip and my bro renting the house. We have another housemate but hes rarely around, but its nice when he is around as well. Small world, because hes from Brunei too! I have a car which she can use, instead of catching the bus, and also, she can have fun gardening XD

Anyways, I can't wait to devour her delicious cooking as well! :D

On another note.. my Swarovski collection is expanding, a wee bit too quick. But don't worry! I always save 50% of what I earn, so yea, still a controlled shopaholic haha. Last Saturday, Myers had a one day sale. 40% to 50% off!! Who can resist that? During my 30mins break, I took the time to shop XD I wasn't hungry since I brought lunch from home and managed to eat when there are no customers. kekeke. I bought 6-8? clothing, and the total cost was just $120. What a steal. Normally that would cost me more than 300! Soo soo happy! :D Freaking love bargains. Love sale! Love discounts!!!!! XD

Oh! Recently, I had a girls relaxing day out with my friend, Ling. We started our day early, where our first stop was to a nail salon at Carousel. I thought maybe, since its a relaxing treating ourselves day out with a girlfriend, I'd get my nails done! It was my first time getting a manicure and etc. Normally I'd do it myself, but unfortunately, I don't have the skills and knowledge to apply fake nails like gels or acrylic. I do now :p still thinking if I should purchase myself a set of gel nails products and etc from ebay. hm.

The results, which I thought was good was actually not good :s. Since it was my first time I didn't know what to expect. But people who have had their nails done several times has told me that it was a badly done job. They said it wasn't smooth, as it looked really thick and bumpy, the design looked rush, and worst off, I got ripped off. It costed me $110. When I mentioned the cost, their mouth dropped :s. That bad huh @@". Since then I stared at my nails for quite a long time. I finally saw its flaws, and well.. me being me, I had it redone, by going to one of the salons near my home, which was recommended by my colleague. The results? Awesome and cheap too! Sorry Ling, if you are reading this lol! Don't get me wrong, what mattered that day was the experience and company that made it awesome anyhow! :D

So after the nails we went for a massage, still at Carousel, by some chinese professionals. It was gooooooooood. They hit all the pressure points, and damn I felt so relaxed and stress free. I reckon its cheap too. Sorta like a dollar a minute, but the quality is good (they know their shit) hence I think its fair.

After the massage, we were supposed to drop by her family's store to pick up her mom and send her home, but in the end we didn't since some things came up and her mom couldn't go home early. Its okay since we planned ahead, so we could still take our time to go Garden City for our movie (less rowdy kids compared to Carousel. I think its different due to class levels lol). We watched Life of Pi, and my opinion? Fucking good. Watch it on 3D too please. I have to say, 3D is more advanced now compared to 2?3? years ago when I watched my first 3D movie. Its damn good now, I reckon the extra cost is worth it. Seriously watch it, because the story itself is nice. It has a slow start, but it gradually builds up and before you know it, you're glued to your seat, waiting to see whats happening next. Good show good show, wouldn't mind going for a seconds visit.

I'm gonna have to end it here tonight. its almost 4am. I was SUPER bored lol but now I am sooooo sleepy. I posted quite a few photos on instagram, and I have to admit, I'm feeling really lazy to put the pics up here now, so I apologize for the whole chunk of words and no pictures for some extra entertainment. Who knows when I wake up I'd edit this post. Hehe.

As of now, have a good night ^^